The word "cougar" has become synonymous with older women who are linked romantically with younger men. Spoofed on Saturday Night Live, cougars are shown as kind of desperate and a little bit icky. But in movies like The Graduate (Anne Bancroft as Mrs. Robinson) and even Wedding Crashers (Jane Seymour aka Kitty Cat), the cougars are intriguing... perhaps a little off, but nevertheless fascinating and, dare we say it, sometimes even sexy.
But how do people really feel about cougars? Are they desperate women who are trying to hang onto their younger days by "hunting" younger men?
We tend to think that this so-called cougar trend has been blown a bit out of proportion. Speed dating services have tried recently to capitalize on this cougarism, but it hasn't really been working out for them. The younger men just aren't signing up to meet the older ladies. And the event organizers are a bit baffled. Our guess is that it's a well-publicized relationship or two (e.g. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher) that's making everyone think cougar-led romances are a common trend... or, at least, a trend that younger men would be willing to admit their interest in.
It's not that easy to bring to mind oodles of real-life older-woman/younger-man couples - famous, infamous, or otherwise. One relationship, albeit highly publicized, does not necessarily make a trend.
→ How do you see cougars - overblown trend or raging epidemic?
Read more!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
On the Hunt for a Heart
In The Wizard of Oz, the Tin Man wishes for a heart, ultimately realizing at the end of the tale that he wasn't quite as hollow as he thought he was. The Scarecrow wanted brains, but we all know he was a smarty pants. So now we're asking you to use your noggin to find the heart we've hidden on our site.
This is the heart you're looking for:
And, when you find it, you can enter for your chance to win a little something special to nurture your own heart and mind.
Click here for details, and a little hunting hint!
Read more!
This is the heart you're looking for:
And, when you find it, you can enter for your chance to win a little something special to nurture your own heart and mind. Click here for details, and a little hunting hint!
Read more!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Is Cheating Contagious?
When you've been involved in a relationship that ended because of cheating, it's hard not to spend a lot of time thinking about it. Asking yourself questions like "What did I do wrong?" or "Why did I think they were so honest?" According to a recent Newsweek article, scientists have begun to question the idea that cheating is a cold, calculated, rational choice that is reinforced by how much a person thinks they can get away with before they risk being caught. But it might not be that simple.
What some recent studies have found is that cheating can be contagious. That's right. Seeing someone else getting away with something can prompt others to take that same risk, ideally, they hope, with similar positive results. The thing to keep in mind though is what the study also deduced - our "inner moralist," they conclude, "doesn't really want to cheat."
When someone gets caught cheating though, they're perceived as bad eggs. And no one likes that feeling. No one wants to be stigmatized as such. Cheating, this study found, can decline in "catchiness" when someone else gets caught doing the same thing.
In talking with our clients, so many of them try to make sense of being on the receiving end of the cheating. And some of them are even doing the cheating themselves. There's more to each individual situation however than what a broad scientific study determines. Cheating is incredibly complicated when it comes to matters of the heart. When you need to talk about what you're experiencing, we coaches are here - and we promise, you'll get only pure honesty from us.
→ If you've been in a relationship where cheating occurred, do you feel like it happened because someone was empowered by another to take that risk? Read more!
What some recent studies have found is that cheating can be contagious. That's right. Seeing someone else getting away with something can prompt others to take that same risk, ideally, they hope, with similar positive results. The thing to keep in mind though is what the study also deduced - our "inner moralist," they conclude, "doesn't really want to cheat."
When someone gets caught cheating though, they're perceived as bad eggs. And no one likes that feeling. No one wants to be stigmatized as such. Cheating, this study found, can decline in "catchiness" when someone else gets caught doing the same thing.
In talking with our clients, so many of them try to make sense of being on the receiving end of the cheating. And some of them are even doing the cheating themselves. There's more to each individual situation however than what a broad scientific study determines. Cheating is incredibly complicated when it comes to matters of the heart. When you need to talk about what you're experiencing, we coaches are here - and we promise, you'll get only pure honesty from us.
→ If you've been in a relationship where cheating occurred, do you feel like it happened because someone was empowered by another to take that risk? Read more!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tinseltown Thursday: Bachelor Who?
It's often been said that looking good is the best revenge. Well, bachelor Jason Mesnick's former fiancee Melissa Rycroft may be proving that point quite rightly. Her first spin on Dancing with the Stars this past Monday night showed a confident, gorgeous lady who is moving on with her life.
What do you think? Is Melissa merely capitalizing on her 15 minutes (even though she said she was "done with Hollywood"? Or is America's new sweetheart just trying to prove that any woman can pick herself back up after a breakup - even if it's the most public breakup ever? Read more!
What do you think? Is Melissa merely capitalizing on her 15 minutes (even though she said she was "done with Hollywood"? Or is America's new sweetheart just trying to prove that any woman can pick herself back up after a breakup - even if it's the most public breakup ever? Read more!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Getting Personal
According to a new book on the subject of personal ads entitled "Classified: The Secret History of the Personal Column," personal ads date back at least 300 years. Back in the day, "lonely hearts" went to matrimonial agencies to hire someone to find them a spouse. Presently, online dating is practically the norm. But personal ads have had a very colorful history and seen many different incarnations.
From clandestine and creepy to outspoken and honest, the placing of personal ads (or, now, online dating profiles) has become trendy, hip, and fashionable. "Everybody's doing it."
→ Whether you've dated online or not, how do you really feel deep down about this method of matchmaking? Are you wary of its nature, or are you thankful for the ease of the Internet? Read more!
From clandestine and creepy to outspoken and honest, the placing of personal ads (or, now, online dating profiles) has become trendy, hip, and fashionable. "Everybody's doing it."
→ Whether you've dated online or not, how do you really feel deep down about this method of matchmaking? Are you wary of its nature, or are you thankful for the ease of the Internet? Read more!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A Broken Heart, Literally
Divorce isn't fun for anyone - turns out it's not healthy either. The broken heart you suffer (and all the emotional trauma that you endure up to the point of divorce) can literally hurt your heart... and it's much worse for women than men.
A University of Utah study found that women in strained marriages who felt depressed had a higher risk of problems with their blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar. Men who were feeling just as bummed about their marriage, however, didn't see similar risks.
One of the psychologists leading the study said, "There is good evidence they [women] should modify some of the things that affect metabolic syndrome – like diet and exercise – but it's a little premature to say they would lower their risk of heart disease if they improved the tone and quality of their marriages – or dumped their husbands," Smith said.
Meaning: couples coaching is a good option to look into. We offer it through our Ask Mars Venus coaching program. Questions about it? Just ask us. Read more!
A University of Utah study found that women in strained marriages who felt depressed had a higher risk of problems with their blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar. Men who were feeling just as bummed about their marriage, however, didn't see similar risks.
One of the psychologists leading the study said, "There is good evidence they [women] should modify some of the things that affect metabolic syndrome – like diet and exercise – but it's a little premature to say they would lower their risk of heart disease if they improved the tone and quality of their marriages – or dumped their husbands," Smith said.
Meaning: couples coaching is a good option to look into. We offer it through our Ask Mars Venus coaching program. Questions about it? Just ask us. Read more!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Heroes and Villains
Watchmen debuted this past weekend in theatres. But instead of allowing that to bring to mind brawny males and buxom, scantily clad female comic book characters, let’s look at the comic book "fantasy" world from another angle.
One of the discussion panels at this year's New York Comic Con was titled, “Men Are From Krypton, Women Are From Paradise Island.” On the agenda? A discussion about whether both men and women are being served properly by comics. And we’re not necessarily talking about, “Is Catwoman merely eye candy for men?” but, rather, what are the stereotypes of male and female reader interests in comic books?
One blogger’s insight into the discussion highlighted a few gender-fun quotes from the industry veterans sitting on the panel.
→ A male panelist said: There is a need to “recognize that there is more than one type of girl. People are not so easily quantified.”
→ From a male panelist: “Boys will read comics featuring girl characters if they get an upskirt shot.”
→ It was said that male writers who do a good job with women characters actually like women as people. “Only men who love their mothers should be able to write women,” one female panelist cracked.
→ When asked if an artist has the responsibility to project a positive image in their work, a female panelist said, “I feel absolutely no responsibility to uphold somebody else’s values… I do what is appropriate for the story. People bring their own baggage.”
The blogger herself writes, “After all, gender issues affect men and women, gay and straight.”
→ Do you want to read about characters you can identify with, whether it's a comic book or a Jane Austen novel? Do you turn away from literature that you assume you'll never be able to identify with? Read more!
One of the discussion panels at this year's New York Comic Con was titled, “Men Are From Krypton, Women Are From Paradise Island.” On the agenda? A discussion about whether both men and women are being served properly by comics. And we’re not necessarily talking about, “Is Catwoman merely eye candy for men?” but, rather, what are the stereotypes of male and female reader interests in comic books?
One blogger’s insight into the discussion highlighted a few gender-fun quotes from the industry veterans sitting on the panel.
→ A male panelist said: There is a need to “recognize that there is more than one type of girl. People are not so easily quantified.”
→ From a male panelist: “Boys will read comics featuring girl characters if they get an upskirt shot.”
→ It was said that male writers who do a good job with women characters actually like women as people. “Only men who love their mothers should be able to write women,” one female panelist cracked.
→ When asked if an artist has the responsibility to project a positive image in their work, a female panelist said, “I feel absolutely no responsibility to uphold somebody else’s values… I do what is appropriate for the story. People bring their own baggage.”
The blogger herself writes, “After all, gender issues affect men and women, gay and straight.”
→ Do you want to read about characters you can identify with, whether it's a comic book or a Jane Austen novel? Do you turn away from literature that you assume you'll never be able to identify with? Read more!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Are You Pink or Blue?
Pink is for women, right? Not so fast. Recent research has shown that pink isn't the default favorite color for the ladies. Both men and women apparently have a hankering for blue, while purple is also at the top for women. In fact, many females associate pink or "for-her" products with second-rate goods.
So that got us wondering if gender-specific sales are patronizing and/or insulting. This color choice seems to work in favor of Victoria's Secret which has created an entire line of clothing under the brand Pink.
But not every woman loves pink. Sure, growing up with Barbie Dolls and ballerinas, pink is just kind of a "given" for girls... but why is pink still synonymous with adult females? From cell phones to laptops, pink has become an option for many goods. Some women choose it just because it's the only alternative to basic black and they want some color in their lives. If they have to be on that Blackberry all day, might as well be something nice to look at, right?
→ So we're asking you to consider how you may be influenced by or "discriminated" against with pink brand marketing. What would you do if you came across a guy with a pink cell phone? What kind of relationship do you have with the color pink? Read more!
So that got us wondering if gender-specific sales are patronizing and/or insulting. This color choice seems to work in favor of Victoria's Secret which has created an entire line of clothing under the brand Pink.
But not every woman loves pink. Sure, growing up with Barbie Dolls and ballerinas, pink is just kind of a "given" for girls... but why is pink still synonymous with adult females? From cell phones to laptops, pink has become an option for many goods. Some women choose it just because it's the only alternative to basic black and they want some color in their lives. If they have to be on that Blackberry all day, might as well be something nice to look at, right?
→ So we're asking you to consider how you may be influenced by or "discriminated" against with pink brand marketing. What would you do if you came across a guy with a pink cell phone? What kind of relationship do you have with the color pink? Read more!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Porn Consumers
Who's buying porn? You might be surprised to find out. An assistant professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School did a study titled "Red Light States: Who Buys Online Adult Entertainment?" Apparently, subscriptions to online pornography sites are "more prevalent in states where surveys indicate conservative positions on religion, gender roles, and sexuality." Take a look at this chart.
→ Your thoughts? Read more!
→ Your thoughts? Read more!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
What Was He Thinking?
And the new Bachelorette is... the girl the Bachelor just dumped on national television.
Whether you watched this season of The Bachelor or not, by now you've probably heard about the show's outcome. There have been seasons where the couples break up before the reunion show or break up shortly after the reunion show, and there's even been one season where the Bachelor dumped both girls at the final rose ceremony. But this season there was a new twist: after choosing Melissa over Molly on the last show, Jason Mesnick decided that, six weeks later, he'd changed his mind.
On last night's reunion show, Jason admitted that he couldn't get Molly out of his thoughts. And after telling Melissa he couldn't be with her, she kept saying that Jason wasn't willing to work on their relationship... only six weeks since the show wrapped and he couldn't just stick it out and see where their love might go.
Maybe Jason is in uncertainty. Perhaps the show's fairytale happenings made everything in real life seem downright boring. Maybe Jason is the kind of guy who always thinks about what he might be missing. Or maybe the premise of the show is just so farfetched that it's impossible to ask any person to confidently choose between two people after so little time together and decree, "This is the woman for me."
What we're wondering is... if he had chosen Molly at the final rose ceremony, would he have been breaking up with her on television last night because he couldn't stop thinking about Melissa?
→ We want to hear from you. Is Jason a chump for dumping Melissa? Or is he just following his heart and everyone should cut the guy some slack? Read more!
Whether you watched this season of The Bachelor or not, by now you've probably heard about the show's outcome. There have been seasons where the couples break up before the reunion show or break up shortly after the reunion show, and there's even been one season where the Bachelor dumped both girls at the final rose ceremony. But this season there was a new twist: after choosing Melissa over Molly on the last show, Jason Mesnick decided that, six weeks later, he'd changed his mind.
On last night's reunion show, Jason admitted that he couldn't get Molly out of his thoughts. And after telling Melissa he couldn't be with her, she kept saying that Jason wasn't willing to work on their relationship... only six weeks since the show wrapped and he couldn't just stick it out and see where their love might go.
Maybe Jason is in uncertainty. Perhaps the show's fairytale happenings made everything in real life seem downright boring. Maybe Jason is the kind of guy who always thinks about what he might be missing. Or maybe the premise of the show is just so farfetched that it's impossible to ask any person to confidently choose between two people after so little time together and decree, "This is the woman for me."
What we're wondering is... if he had chosen Molly at the final rose ceremony, would he have been breaking up with her on television last night because he couldn't stop thinking about Melissa?
→ We want to hear from you. Is Jason a chump for dumping Melissa? Or is he just following his heart and everyone should cut the guy some slack? Read more!
